Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
