I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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