i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
