Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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