Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
