I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
