Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
