apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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