theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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