Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
