I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
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