I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
