I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
