I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
