3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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