I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
