so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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