I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
