True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
