whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
How does one acquire holy water?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
