oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
