normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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