So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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