Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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