What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
