physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
