Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
