I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
