Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
