lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
