Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
