and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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