life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
