I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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