If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
