I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
