Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
