just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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