i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
