It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Send help, water and tortillas.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
