Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
