I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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