when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
