I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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