nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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