is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
