also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
