you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
