Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
