She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
