It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
