I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
