I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
