I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
