Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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